


Boy you got me breathless

by Pinxku



Series: Alexander angst and more [4]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander angst, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Era, Character Death, George Washington is a Dad, Grief/Mourning, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt Alexander Hamilton, Language of Flowers, One-Sided Attraction, Sickfic, Washingdad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 00:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21758434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinxku/pseuds/Pinxku
Summary: Summary: Alexander loved him. He could not help it. But he knew he could never have him.It wasn't long before he coughed his first flower petal.(Hanahaki disease)
Relationships: Aaron Burr & Alexander Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton & George Washington, Alexander Hamilton & Hercules Mulligan, Alexander Hamilton & John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette(one-sided)
Series: Alexander angst and more [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1552390
Comments: 21
Kudos: 175





	Boy you got me breathless

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I Couldn't Undo It If I Tried](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21652852) by [aidennestorm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aidennestorm/pseuds/aidennestorm). 



**Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love.**

It was supposed to be a myth. Alexander knew it wasn't. And then he got it.

It started in the war. Alexander couldn't help it. There just was something about Lafayette. Maybe the way he was so adorable when he couldn't remember the right words. Or maybe just how handsome the tall Frenchman wad with his curly hair. Or maybe the passion and just how funny and energetic he was. Or maybe the way he called Alex his mon petit lipn

Alexander loved him. He could not help it. But he knew he could never have him.

It wasn't long before he coughed his first flower petal.

They had just finished with their latest mission when it happened. Lafayette left with that beautiful handsome smile. Alexander couldn't help but think about that smile as he steps into the general office.

It was then when he was about to open his mouth to give his report when it felt like something was stuck in his throat. He coughs putting one hand in front of his mouth when the thing dislocates from his throat.  
When he removes his hand he sees it.

One small gardenia petal.   
  
He stares at it in horror. Gardenias symbol secret love. He remembers when he read about flowers when his mother had been sick. She had been coughing up pink carnation petals after Alexander's father left.

"Alexander everything alright son?" Washington has raised his head to look at the boy. His eyebrow was raised waiting for that report.

"Rights as rain sir" he replies breathlessly and hides the petal in his jacket.

Washington's brow creases at that. The kid never lets him call him a son. He looks scared. Something was wrong. The general would have to keep an eye on him.

"Carry on then"

Alexander starts reporting. The light flower pedal feeling like burning weight in his pocket.

Once he gets out of the tent he stumbles out in the forest and he cries. He cries because he loves Lafayette so much it will kill him. 

He cries because he knows he can never have that amazing man. Lafayette has a wife and a child. 

He cries because he would rather die and love the man he can't have than take that surgery he knows would save him and his legacy but that will take away that love.

He returns to camp. He was running out of time and there was so much work to do. Just because he was throwing away his shot didn't mean he would do it without a fight. He prays to go that he would see the end of the war.

✿✿✿

He writes like the man that was running out of time he was. He writes to congress desperately hoping to make a difference and win the war.

The coughs because more frequent more painful as time passed. More pedals started to plug his throat and fill his lungs.

It didn't take long for John to find out they slept in the same tent after all. It took even less time for the General he did work next to the man most of the time. 

They both pleaded with him begging for him to tell or take the surgery. Begging for him to tell who it was.

But he couldn't. He can't tell Laf, he will never take the surgery and he can't tell them either. They would blame Lafayette for his death. He could never do that for Laf. He would never hate him either. 

The begging soon turned to apologies and sorrow. John cried against Alexander apologizing how he could not be enough. Alexander assures he was.

Washington held him against his chest all night. Already mourning. They cried together. He tells how he sees Washington as his dad. Washington tells him he sees him as a son. He lets him call Alex son after that night

They are helpless as they watch Alexanders health worsen.

✿✿✿

He meets Eliza Schuyler. She was pretty. She loves him. He doesn't love her like that. She isn't Lafayette. They become friends.

She agrees to have his son.

  
✿✿✿

Burr finds out by accident after the battle of Monmouth. They talk. They share a beer and leave the bar as closer friends.

✿✿✿

Eliza is pregnant. Alexander cries out of happiness.

✿✿✿

By the end of the battle of YorkTown, the petals were red with blood. It was hard to breathe.

Hercules finds out. He pleads too. It doesn't work. He cries too. They get a drink.

But hey they won. Alexander was happy about that.

✿✿✿

His son is born. They name him Philip. Alexander loves his boy.

✿✿✿

When Lafayette leaves to get back to France the petals started to be small flowers.

He hugged the man tightly telling him to be careful and good luck.

His last chance goes when Lafayette's ship leaves. 

He knew Laf would go home. It still hurt.

He made sure Laf never knew.

✿✿✿

John dies. For once the vines and flowers in his lungs weren't the only things making his chest hurt.

✿✿✿

When the flowers started to wilt and were covered by blood he knew his time was up.

Washington finds him in his office vomiting blood and dead flowers.

He holds Alexander close as he chokes. Whispering comforting words in his ears. Washington cries as he cradles his son in his lap. He cries harder after Alexander stops moving.

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: OMG I'm super happy about this one! I loved this idea. Hanahaki disease was an interesting concept. I loved it.
> 
> More about it: https://fanlore.org/wiki/Hanahaki_Disease
> 
> Please leave a comment what you thought and kudos are appreciated!
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Send me prompts in Tumblr: Pinxku22


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